Six Weeks to Success

Have you ever spoken unkindly to someone? Did the words profoundly affect that person? Words are powerful; and when they are used to hurt someone, they can be devastating. The words you speak and the things you say do have a huge affect not only on yourself, but others as well. Yes, what you say really does matter.

Have you ever called yourself stupid, dumb, idiot? Have you berated yourself in front of the mirror because you feel fat? Do you realize every word you say is being processed by your subconscious and, in some cases, imbeds itself there? Thus, it begins to seep into your conscious self and the feelings of self-worth begin to dissipate.

What you say ultimately translates into eventual belief. If you utter to yourself, “I’m not very good at soccer,” you will never succeed in that sport. You are setting up a defeatist attitude even before you begin. When you begin a thought or a sentence with a negative word, your expectations can never be realized.

So too, you may call someone an idiot. While you may apologize, the word has already been spoken; you can’t take it back. The person on the receiving end of the insult may take it to heart, and can be changed forever. We live in a world where words are used to attack, cajole, embrace, nurture, disengage, provoke and inspire. We not only hurt ourselves, we hurt others as well. Anger, frustration, and disappointment contribute to the misuse of words. Even though the aftermath of unkind words are realized, we still do it. Perhaps the old adage is true, “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.”

It is important to realize the affect words have on us. Whether we mean to say them or not, said often enough they can transform the very essence of who we are. Children are especially vulnerable to words. Yet, we continue to use unkind and often insensitive words as a disciplinary measure. Eventually, they grow up with low self-esteem, or painfully shy, or feel they are worth anything at all.

The next time you speak, think about the words you are about to impart. Choose them wisely when speaking to your peers, and cautiously when speaking to children. Understand that one word can positively or negatively affect someone’s life; even your own.

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Have you ever had a negative thought? Have you ever uttered it out loud, even in jest? Most of us have. More importantly, more often than we’d like to admit. Negative thinking can be damaging not only to our self-esteem, but can begin a cycle of thought and behavior which negatively impacts our own perception of events in our lives.

For example: Perhaps you’ve been assigned a special project at work. You’re confident in taking it on, but upon completion you notice one tiny error. You begin to berate the way in which you handled the project, even though the error was not significant. While your boss is telling you what a great job you’ve done, you begin to make excuses for it. Your negativity has minimized the entire project, and magnified one area of it.

What steps can you take to avoid this pattern? Take a step back and look at the project objectively. Not only did you complete it in an efficient manner, but it will become the template for future projects. Forget about the mistake; think about what you’ve achieved.

The holidays are approaching and you need to begin the house-cleaning project. You look around and decide it’s just too much; you can’t do it; why bother. Stop! Take a deep breath and consider dividing up the tasks. Enlist the aid of your family to help by assigning each one a specific job. Once you begin the process of prioritizing, you will feel better and it will be accomplished.

You’ve started a diet before the holidays. One day, you have a yearning for a particular dessert. You quickly decide your diet is over, and it wasn’t worth the effort. You walk over to the mirror and utter to yourself, “I’m fat, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Wrong! Setting yourself up for failure by thinking negatively about the way you look does not solve the immediate problem. Instead, admit to cheating; promise you’ll try harder, and allow positive thoughts to guide you through it.

Probably the most intensely negative thought processes are experienced by teenagers. Perhaps their life isn’t going the way they thought it would; or they are unhappy with school; or peer pressure has made them act in a way that cultivates anger. “I don’t want to live anymore,” one might say. While they may not mean what they say; it is still a sign which requires immediate intervention. The thought can become a seed which could germinate into the act itself.

Either through family, friends, counselors or skilled professionals – negative thought can quickly be turned around into positive reinforcement. It is up to each and every one of us to ensure that any hint of negativity is purged from our thought process; and to avoid imprinting unwelcome thoughts onto our family or friends.

Thoughts become things… so pick the good ones.

By just changing your thoughts for 17 seconds, you can change your entire mood… How long is 17 seconds, less time then it took to read this article.

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When asked what your New Year’s resolution is, you may say “exercise more often.” That is not a goal, but a vague statement. If you state with certainty, “exercise 20 minutes every other day,” then you are setting a goal that is focused and achievable.
Let’s explore some techniques on how to focus on your goals and achieve more results.

Make a List
Perhaps you may have applied for a specific job, and decided to make a list describing your strengths and weaknesses. The same focus is needed to list your goals in order to achieve them, with one exception. Add a third column indicating a timeline. For example: Let’s assume you want to quit smoking. This will be the title of your worksheet. In the first column, list the number of cigarettes you smoke a week. The second column will feature the cost of purchasing cigarettes, and the third column will feature how much you cut down each week. Eventually, the number of cigarettes versus the cost will decrease the amount in column three. It is realistic, effective, and sends a subliminal message to your subconscious indicating the cost is outweighing the effect.

Prepare a Chart
In an Australian TV series about a cattle ranch run by women, the overseer had a chart in her room. It was her five-year goal. On the chart, she listed her educational pursuits; her first jobs; and her eventual goals, with her ultimate goal listed at the bottom. The uniqueness of the chart was akin to a chart one may obtain to list a family tree. Every goal met was checked off. Using red and black pens to underscore certain achievements, she was well on her way to her final goal; that of owning her own cattle ranch. In this case scenario, art did imitate life.

Charts are a way in which one can really focus and measure their ability to attain certain goals. If additional education is required; add that to the chart. If an internship is needed to obtain a prime spot in an organization; add that as well. Charts are maps which not only give direction, but keep us on the right path to success. So often we veer off, only to find we are lost and unable to navigate our way back. So too, a chart is a constant reminder of where we’ve been, and where we are going.

The next time you are determined to reach a new goal in your life, write down the steps that will guide you to it. Be specific in your detail, and use it as a roadmap to achievement. Focus on it; memorize it, and become empowered by it. You’ll never fail.

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Jim Edwards has a great illustration of the difference between simply ‘hoping’ and ‘expecting’. You can try this exercise yourself. Close your eyes and try to HOPE you’ll make a million dollars this year (or whatever number might get you excited). Just sit there and hope and hope and hope.

Now if you pay attention you’ll notice you’ll probably a little bit slumped over and if had to stake your life on it – there’s no way you’d bet you really would make that mil this year. Now try the same exercise but this time EXPECT to earn a million dollars. I mean really expect it.Now look at the way you are sitting, breathing and feeling. I’d wager it’s a little different. Your expectations determine your results.

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One of the biggest issues that new practitioners or professionals face is confidence. Will I get clients, will they like me and continue to be a client.

This is a issue that only you can solve, you need to focus on you. Strange I know. There is plenty of time to focus on the clients. When we spend the time focusing on our own personal inner work we become more self assured, we become more comfortable in our own skin, we are happy with how our lives are going.

When this happens, we can attract the kind of clients that fit perfectly with us. It is simply a fact that some people will love you and what you do and for others you won’t be their cup of tea.

Who cares? Don’t try and adapt yourself and your personality to the market. Be who you are and let the people that like you buy and do business with you. The heck with the others!

Sounds simple…. and it is once you have done your inner work. Don’t expect to magically become the most self-confident person in the world. Give yourself a break, it does take time.
But you CAN and most definitely will create the life of your dreams! Keep up the great work!

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” The secret of SUCCESS: Right Attitude, Positive Thinking and Belief in oneself.”

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